Even in the dark its never completely dark...

I'm awakened by the faint whisper of a song...lulled gently from sleep I could vaguely make out the muffled lyrics ringing in my head, "The world's gone; don't think about it. Cause life is short; we'll do without it...". Through my bleary eyes and as my other senses slowly gave way to clarity, I realize I'm back here...my tiny island in the middle of the sea. "The world is gone...don't think about it...". I can never tell how I end up here. No idea of a trigger. Its not as if I mind, however, I always arrive when it would seem I need it the most.

There is a beautiful dichotomy to this place. It is indeed mine...it is indeed familiar...and it has its measures of security. However, here, the world IS gone. As far as I can tell, its just me here. I could have sworn I saw some wanderers a few times; but I can't be 100% sure anymore. They left as quickly as they came...a blink in time. Seems impossible...could have just been a mirage. For as much as I love the solitude of this place -- indeed even Superman had a fortress of solitude -- I grow eager for even a mirage these days.

"The world's gone; don't think about it. Cause life is short; we'll do without it." The song is a Mute Math song, I must've fallen asleep to it or something. But, in true form of this place, the melody comes at the perfect time to inspire some serious reflection. "The world is gone" indeed, its like I woke up one day, here, aware that there are no rules. There are no boundaries aside from the ones we corral ourselves with or allow others to be corralled with. And as quickly as that realization hit me I suddenly became very aware of all the things I needed and didn't need anymore.

For better or worse, I feel I am tied to this place. Some nights I fall asleep praying that tomorrow I can wake up normal and content with the world that was created for me. Then I could return home greeted with smiles and hugs and memories now lost. Other nights I wish nothing else but to wake up somewhere else...and I feel stuck in transmission. And then , as if following my own breadcrumbs, I find my way back here. For better or worse, I feel I am tied to this place.

"Life is short...we'll do without it"

Its funny how the lyrics struck such a chord in me. I can't get them out of my head. As I forced myself onto my elbows to look around I wondered how long it had been since the sun shone on my tiny island. I'm still getting a hang of the weather patterns around here but it would seem I can expect long stretches of night skies and the occasional lightning storm during. It used to worry me...I wondered if the sun would ever return. I'm not really a religious person...no deities to pray to nor strict rituals to adhere to. But I'm reminded of the Greek God Helios, whose job it was to drag the sun across the sky every morning with his sun chariot. Perhaps he's asleep or sick?

Again, the dichotomy. I miss the sunlight but I find so much beauty in the night as well. And in the moon I see the reflection of brighter days...it goes a great length to remind me that even in the dark...its never completely dark.

Just then deep purple clouds roll across the midnight day's sky. My biologically installed fight or flight instinct pulls me to run...but my adventurous soul wills me to stay. The winds coming off the foamy shore grow chilled and menacing. Why the hell am I still standing here?!



My question is answered as the first crack of lightning announces itself. It comes with a fierce bark but I see well beyond that. For every strike back-lights every dark cloud with its own silver halo. Even in the dark...its never completely dark. So caught up in it all I completely forget that I'm "alone" here...

"The world's gone; don't think about it. Cause life is short; we'll do without it..."

My little island in the middle of the sea...I'm still learning what this all really means...