Even in the dark its never completely dark...

I'm awakened by the faint whisper of a song...lulled gently from sleep I could vaguely make out the muffled lyrics ringing in my head, "The world's gone; don't think about it. Cause life is short; we'll do without it...". Through my bleary eyes and as my other senses slowly gave way to clarity, I realize I'm back here...my tiny island in the middle of the sea. "The world is gone...don't think about it...". I can never tell how I end up here. No idea of a trigger. Its not as if I mind, however, I always arrive when it would seem I need it the most.

There is a beautiful dichotomy to this place. It is indeed mine...it is indeed familiar...and it has its measures of security. However, here, the world IS gone. As far as I can tell, its just me here. I could have sworn I saw some wanderers a few times; but I can't be 100% sure anymore. They left as quickly as they came...a blink in time. Seems impossible...could have just been a mirage. For as much as I love the solitude of this place -- indeed even Superman had a fortress of solitude -- I grow eager for even a mirage these days.

"The world's gone; don't think about it. Cause life is short; we'll do without it." The song is a Mute Math song, I must've fallen asleep to it or something. But, in true form of this place, the melody comes at the perfect time to inspire some serious reflection. "The world is gone" indeed, its like I woke up one day, here, aware that there are no rules. There are no boundaries aside from the ones we corral ourselves with or allow others to be corralled with. And as quickly as that realization hit me I suddenly became very aware of all the things I needed and didn't need anymore.

For better or worse, I feel I am tied to this place. Some nights I fall asleep praying that tomorrow I can wake up normal and content with the world that was created for me. Then I could return home greeted with smiles and hugs and memories now lost. Other nights I wish nothing else but to wake up somewhere else...and I feel stuck in transmission. And then , as if following my own breadcrumbs, I find my way back here. For better or worse, I feel I am tied to this place.

"Life is short...we'll do without it"

Its funny how the lyrics struck such a chord in me. I can't get them out of my head. As I forced myself onto my elbows to look around I wondered how long it had been since the sun shone on my tiny island. I'm still getting a hang of the weather patterns around here but it would seem I can expect long stretches of night skies and the occasional lightning storm during. It used to worry me...I wondered if the sun would ever return. I'm not really a religious person...no deities to pray to nor strict rituals to adhere to. But I'm reminded of the Greek God Helios, whose job it was to drag the sun across the sky every morning with his sun chariot. Perhaps he's asleep or sick?

Again, the dichotomy. I miss the sunlight but I find so much beauty in the night as well. And in the moon I see the reflection of brighter days...it goes a great length to remind me that even in the dark...its never completely dark.

Just then deep purple clouds roll across the midnight day's sky. My biologically installed fight or flight instinct pulls me to run...but my adventurous soul wills me to stay. The winds coming off the foamy shore grow chilled and menacing. Why the hell am I still standing here?!



My question is answered as the first crack of lightning announces itself. It comes with a fierce bark but I see well beyond that. For every strike back-lights every dark cloud with its own silver halo. Even in the dark...its never completely dark. So caught up in it all I completely forget that I'm "alone" here...

"The world's gone; don't think about it. Cause life is short; we'll do without it..."

My little island in the middle of the sea...I'm still learning what this all really means...

Built for distance...

I saw an invincible man shatter into a million pieces the other day...and as the mirror fragments hung in the air like glitter...time slowed to a stop. I never wanted to be here again. As I picked tiny fragments of sharp glass out of my fist I realized something. Though not entirely unbreakable, I was built for distance.

The mirror shards formed millions of tiny windows staring back at me. These broken pieces indeed looked like me but while the image of the man had been reduced to a sparkling rubble. The essence of the man stood strongly over the wreckage planning repair.

I saw an invincible man shatter into a million pieces the other day...but I felt an invincible spirit endure.

Into the Wyld...

In many ways, I use words to say things better than my eyes can see. I live in a beautiful world but some days, I long to see so much more. I hate to always go alone so I leave literary bread crumbs for people to come find me. On today's post, I take a step in a different direction. A creative piece on traveling while staying put:

As I shove off the docks, I can't help but wonder if there is a home at the other end...and as the tiny crowd fades into mere speckles in the fog, I miss them in a way I thought I wouldn't. I miss those I have never even known...just because I may never ever know. I miss those that I swore indifference for. I absolutely miss those I've lost. And suddenly my world is on its own little acid trip. It quickly switches back and forth from shrinking and imploding to expanding and exploding; and I can't tell which end frightens me more. But of one thing I'm sure, I'm not running from, I'm running too.

Alas, I refuse to grow settled without a concept of forever...and I swear these young eyes growing content will render me blind in no time. So I had to leave to see...to breath the air of distant lands. I am, after all, a man of adventure and discovery. The human is pulled through life in pursuit of novel stimuli. Life is balance but every once in a while you've got to tip the scales to turn your own tide...and here I am adrift again.

And as land compromised itself to its blue majestic owner, I took a deep breath and let one tear fly in the face of fear. I gave one shudder to the thought of the unknown and I let slip one sigh simultaneously hopeful and doubtful of the future.

I never was wooed by typical pursuits after all.

Where am I going? Technically, nowhere. I'll be back in the morning. I'll return on the other side of the blink I left on. I take this trip often. I take it because I've heard there is a place where imagination and youthful hope never die among the rocky bluffs. I go here to write, dream, pray, cry, and escape. I've found it a few times...never in the same place.

They say no one is an island. I beg to differ...we are all marooned, from time to time, on our own personal plot of reality. So I take trips out daily to find others like me...I send messages out in bottles just to see what shores they might reach.

Its a beautiful ride if you've got a good co-pilot...I haven't found mine yet but I know she's just around tomorrow's corner. I swear I'm not looking but what I'm really not looking for is disappointment or a days walk in the wrong direction. So for now I take this trip solo...

Some day the mainland will hear word that I'm out here...and then this place, this place of beauty and peace...won't seem so lost and forgotten all the time.